To Do With Apples and Trees
by Loopstagirl
Summary: One son is sick and another won't talk to him. There's only one thing Jeff can think of to bring the family back together: the past. It was time to tell his sons a story...
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I own nothing, all rights belong to their respective owners._

_Thank you as always to Bee for beta-ing for me. The boys wouldn't give me anything for your birthday, but I know how much you like this one so felt like a good time to start posting..._

* * *

A door slamming made Jeff jump. He glanced up from the document he had been pouring over, sighed and stood up before opening his office door and looking up the stairs. It came as no surprise that Virgil's door was closed: Jeff had already guessed which son had forgotten his manners.

Deciding he had spent too long sitting anyway, Jeff closed the office behind him and headed upstairs. While he trusted the older two were mature enough to handle what he was working on, he had no intention of his two youngest finding out. They weren't old enough.

But up until now, he had classed Virgil with the older ones, and would have trusted his son. The behaviour over the previous two days, however, had changed his mind. His sixteen-year-old still needed to grow up.

Without knocking, he opened Virgil's door.

"What have I told you about slamming doors?"

His son was sprawled across his bed, earphones in. One hand shot under the pillow the second his father entered and Jeff knew Virgil was hiding his cell – the one he had been forbidden from using until his attitude cleared up. Jeff ignored it though: one drama at a time was enough and he didn't want to know how Virgil had got the phone back.

Virgil looked at him; a withering, scathing look that made Jeff inwardly flinch. He didn't back down though, merely lifted an eyebrow at the boy.

"Virgil."

"Like you care," Virgil said.

"We've spoken about this attitude, son."

"Just… Leave me alone, Dad." Virgil rolled over until he was facing the other way. Jeff would have reprimanded him further, but there was real pain in Virgil's voice.

Deciding to leave it for now – knowing he wouldn't get through to Virgil like this – Jeff left. He knew he had done the right thing, and his son would realise that in time. It didn't make it any easier to be the one that Virgil blamed, though.

He paused outside of his boy's room, two fingers squeezing the bridge of his nose as he took a deep breath. Scott hadn't caused him these sorts of problems. Then again, Scott had been dealing with other issues when he was Virgil's age: losing his mother, for one; an absent father, for another. If John got up to anything, then Jeff had never found out about it and he didn't want to know now, either.

Another door opening made him look up.

"You should be in bed," he told his second-born. John was gripping onto the doorframe, his face pale but his eyes blazing with determination.

"Virgil?"

"He still won't talk to me," Jeff admitted. He crossed the landing and helped John back to bed. A nasty virus had hit his son hard: Jeff didn't think he would ever forget how weak John had been when his father turned up at college and declared he was taking him home to recover. John was healing, helped along by the endless supply of food his grandmother was cooking, but he still wasn't well.

When John finally rested back on the pillows - his scowl indicating how much he hated being sick - he looked his father in the eye.

"He'll talk to Scott."

"I'm not going to call your brother every time I have a problem with Virgil," Jeff said. "I can handle my own son."

John sighed. "He's just upset." He glanced down, then back at his father. "You didn't have to call her a gold-digger."

"It's the truth," Jeff said. He knew all about that girl and her family, knew precisely what she wanted from his son. If only Virgil could see it as well…

"Are you sure it didn't just slip out?"

"Meaning?"

"Dad, I know you caught her in Virg's room. Gordon told me. Are you sure you didn't just say it because you didn't expect to find Virgil in that sort of position?"

John was avoiding his father's eye by the time he finished speaking, looking decidedly uncomfortable. Jeff raised an eyebrow, faintly amused. He had been angry at Virgil, and delivered his son a lecture that his own mother would have been proud of.

He just wasn't sure if Virgil heard any of it; his son was already upset at him by then. But no matter how angry he had been, he wouldn't resort to saying something that wasn't true. He knew full well Carla Mason had been leading Virgil on.

"Believe it or not, I was sixteen once as well. Yes, I was surprised and thought your brother knew better than that. But…" Jeff trailed off, wondering if he should continue. But John was ill and bored and Jeff knew this would at least entertain him. "I can't claim to being a saint when I was his age."

"Dad!"

John looked impressed and Jeff rolled his eyes. "I accused my father of not caring multiple times. That he was ruining my life, scaring off every girl I brought home..."

"Apart from Mom?"

Jeff smiled at the memory. "Oh, he tried. You think I shouldn't have called her a gold-digger, John? If I had been wrong, if she is, as Virgil claims, the one for him, then she wouldn't have left in a huff. If that were true, one angry father wouldn't have made her leave. Believe me."

"How old were you when you met Mom?"

"I had just turned eighteen. It was a hot summer that year…

* * *

Jeff Tracy stood rooted to the spot, his face burning in humiliation. Again.

"I'll just…go…" Jane avoided his eyes, fingers scrabbling as she tried to do up her blouse.

"I think that is a good idea, young lady."

The imposing figure of Grant Tracy framed in the open double-doors was made even more intimidating by the sun setting behind him. Jeff physically couldn't look at his father without having to screw up his eyes.

"I'll call you," Jeff said, his voice pathetically weak even to his own ears. Jane glanced at his father, then back at him.

"Maybe it's better if you don't," she said. She brushed past his father and disappeared around the side of the barn. Jeff took a step, intending to pick up his discarded shirt. The sound of a throat being cleared stopped him.

"Are you going to explain yourself?"

"I-," Jeff had no idea what to say. He thought it was pretty self-explanatory and had no inclination to tell his father precisely what he was hoping for when he had brought Jane here. They had been going out for a few weeks and she had hinted more than once that she wanted to take things further.

"When I said not under my roof, Jefferson, that includes the barn, all of the out-buildings and every other structure that I own. Even a tent. Is that clear?"

"I'm eighteen," Jeff protested. "I'm not a child anymore-,"

"Exactly!" His father's thundering voice made Jeff flinch. When the man next spoke, his tone was softer. "You're an adult, Jeff. It's time you start acting like one and taking responsibility for your actions."

"Nothing happened, Dad."

"Nor should it."

His father moved further into the barn, putting a hand on his son's shoulder. Jeff shrugged it off. It wasn't that he planned to spend the rest of his life with Jane, but she was beautiful and the summer had been a long one stuck working on the farm for most of it.

Stepping away from his father, Jeff snatched up his shirt and pulled it on.

"Thanks, Dad," he said drily. "That's my summer ruined."

"I thought you were helping me to save up for college?" his father asked, one eyebrow arched in disapproval. Jeff shifted. He had promised to help on the farm for low wages this summer as a way of putting money aside for school. He had even managed to save some.

But that didn't mean he didn't want to have some fun as well.

"Whatever," Jeff muttered. "Looks like that's what I'm stuck doing."

He walked out, although he knew his father would have something to say about his rudeness later. He knew he was acting like a surly teenager, something he thought he had grown out of. His father had looked so proud when Jeff announced he didn't want to road-trip with his friends this summer but help out on the farm so he could save up. The look his father had given him had made Jeff feel like it was the best decision he could have made.

The look he had just been on the receiving end of, however, made him wonder if it was the worst. He didn't even have anyone to rant to – Jane wouldn't talk to him now, Jeff knew that much, and all his friends were away. They would have no sympathy for the one who had opted to remain behind.

Stalking to the house, Jeff instantly calmed down as the aroma of fresh cookies reached him. He let himself in through the side door, but his mother turned at the sound of his arrival. She took one look at the expression on his face and sighed.

"What happened this time?" she asked, knowing he had argued with his father again.

"Nothing," Jeff muttered. "That's the problem."

The last part was said under his breath, but his mother looked at him steadily and Jeff knew she had heard.

"He just wants what is best for you," she said softly, handing him a plate. "Don't fight him out of principle."

"He just doesn't get me," Jeff complained, hitching himself onto the counter and taking a bite.

"I think maybe you don't understand him," his mother said softly. He went to say something and she held up a hand, stopping him from talking with his mouth full. "Go to the market with him this weekend. See his world, the world you always claimed you want to help with."

Jeff swallowed, the crumbs sticking in his throat. He used to love going to the market with his father as a child. But he knew a lot of the people in his year used it as a place to hang out and he had never wanted to be seen shifting corn while they wasted their allowance on trivial things. He had never seen the appeal: even when he was young he had been careful about saving his money.

"But I had…" His voice trailed off, his protests that he had plans dying in his throat. His mother was looking at him expectantly and Jeff knew that she would never forgive him if he didn't at least try and get on with his dad. He gave in and she smiled, caressing his cheek.

"You're a good boy, Jeff," she said before slapping him lightly. "Now get off my worktop and go and do your chores."

Jeff's hope that something would come up before Saturday was short-lived. His father found plenty of chores for him to spend the week doing and every time he tried to call Jane, it went straight to voicemail. He knew it had only ever been a bit of fun, but he thought she might at least pick up.

Despite wishing otherwise, Saturday was upon him and his mother was shaking him awake at dawn, a plate of toast and a coffee in her hand and a smile on her face. Jeff swallowed his complaints and hurried to dress before helping his father load the truck. They hadn't spoken much over recent days and Jeff slumped despondently in the cab as his father loaded the last crate and said goodbye to his mother.

They didn't talk on the way to the market and Jeff intended to keep things that way. But as he helped unload the truck again, he saw his father suddenly wince, one hand resting on his back as he straightened up.

"Dad?"

"It's nothing," his father said, dismissively. Jeff took a step closer.

"I'll take that one," he said, realising it was one of the heavier crates. His offer helped break the tension between them and Jeff followed his father's instructions as they set up their usual stand. He saw men he hadn't seen since he was a child and was secretly pleased at their praise that he was helping out his father. It felt good to be seen in a positive light again.

Jeff didn't want to admit it, but the morning was fun. It was only as mid-day came around and his father said that they were almost done that things changed. Jeff looked up to see a group of his classmates not that far away. Jane was amongst them and, as Jeff watched, the group looked over, sniggered and looked away.

Jeff flushed. He could guess the sort of things that were being spoken about: his interrupted time with Jane most likely had a twist on it and it was now his fault that they hadn't gone through with things rather than being stopped by an irate father. Jeff scowled, turning his attention back to the box he was packing up.

"Ignore them," said a voice. "Jerks, the entire lot."

Jeff looked up. It was another girl from his year, one with a pretty smile and long, blonde hair.

"Jane just likes the attention," she continued, "and won't want to admit she was scared off."

"It's Hayley, right?" Jeff said, shifting the crate to one side. He hoped Hayley would notice it was heavy, and that he was only holding it with one arm. She grinned at him.

"Do you want to get a coffee?" she asked. "When you're done here?"

"Sure." If Jane was ignoring him, then Jeff figured that meant he was free to have a coffee with someone else.

"I need you to load these up."

Jeff hadn't noticed his father come up behind him until a hand landed on his shoulder.

"Mr Tracy," Hayley said, flashing him a smile.

"You're Ewan's kid, aren't you?"

Hayley nodded. "My dad speaks highly of you."

"Shame he doesn't about you," his dad said. "Any idea how much work it takes to harvest squash before it ruins?"

"I-um…"

"You've helped on your dad's farm, right? He said you're always in the barn."

"I have to go," Hayley said desperately. "I'll see you around, Jeff."

Jeff waited until she was out of earshot. "Dad! What the hell? I was just talking to her."

"Son, you do not want to get involved with Hayley Simons. She uses her father's barn the way you tried to use mine. And Ewan says she spends a lot of time out there. Never sees the same boy twice."

His face burning, Jeff hastily started stacking the crates. He wasn't angry at his father this time: he was angry at himself. If he was getting the reputation that he could be one of Hayley Simons' conquests (he, too, had heard the stories about her), then he needed to change something, and fast.

"That was quick," his father said and Jeff realised that, in his frustration, he had loaded the crates far quicker than he normally worked. He shrugged, not prepared to let go of his bad mood.

"We should – oh. Jeff, wait in the truck if you want. This won't take a moment."

Jeff watched as his father moved to greet an old friend. Slumping against the truck, he folded his arms and scowled. The sooner he saved enough to go to college, the better. It didn't feel like there was anything for him in Kansas anymore. If he fell in with Jane and that crowd, it would mean facing his father's constant disapproval. If he helped on the farm, it would mean isolating himself from everyone else his age.

Jeff didn't realise he was looking at anything in particular until a flash of chestnut caught his eye. He looked up and instantly smiled.

It was a girl. Not one he had seen before; she wasn't local. But she was beautiful…and not in the same way as Jane. Her brown hair was pulled into a loose ponytail but Jeff could tell she was used to the city, not Kansas. She held herself with confidence and her face lit up when she laughed at something one of the farmers said. She was stroking his horse, her movements sure and gentle.

Jeff's group of friends had also seen her. She was a newcomer, an outsider, and therefore an easy target. They moved closer and Jeff straightened up, preparing to move. He couldn't hear what they said or the girl's answer. But he could see the sarcasm on her face and the group slunk away, looking embarrassed. Jeff grinned as the girl turned her attention back to the horse. She could more than handle herself.

He took a step forward, intending to introduce himself. But his father chose that moment to come back and motioned for Jeff to climb in. Not daring risk his father's wrath over a girl again, Jeff did so. But he watched her even as his dad started the truck and started to move. He watched her until he couldn't see her.

Then he thought about the casual way she had tossed her hair over her shoulder. He thought about the laughter obvious in the quirk of her lips. And he wondered, more than anything, what her name was…

* * *

John coughing brought Jeff out of the past and back into the present, where he was supposed to be helping his sick son. He quickly fetched a drink of water and waited until John had stopped coughing before taking a step towards the door.

"C'mon, Dad, don't go," John protested. Jeff smiled fondly at his now-adult son.

"You need to get some rest."

"No," John argued. "I need to know how you found out Mom's name."

Jeff knew he should argue. Tell John that he needed to sleep if he wanted to feel better. But this was the first time he had told this story to any of his children. It didn't hurt as much as he thought it would. It made him feel alive, thinking back to those days when he first fell in love.

Without another word, he pulled around a chair and sat down. John grinned, sitting up straighter as he waited to hear more.


	2. Chapter 2

_Thank you so much for the kind words, I'm so glad you enjoyed the first chapter._

* * *

Jeff didn't see the girl again that week.

He kept trying to go into town - even offering to take his mother grocery shopping - in the hope that he would catch a glimpse. But his father insisted on running the errands himself, leaving his son with a list of jobs to do while he was gone.

It was unlike his dad to want to go into town. But Jeff had had enough of arguing with the man and wanted to prove to his mother he wasn't fighting just for the sake of it. He didn't protest, but tackled his chores, allowing the physical work to free his mind so he could daydream about the girl.

This part of town didn't get many newcomers: most families had been working the land here for generations. While some farms were being sold off, Jeff was certain he would have heard about it if there was a new family moving to town. His mother never missed a piece of news, even while she turned her nose up at the idea of gossiping.

Jeff planned to go to town to find out who she was. He wanted to talk to her away from his parents, away from the farm, somewhere he could be cool, collected… Even just thinking how he would start a conversation made his stomach twist. He had always been confident around girls, but there had been something about her quiet confidence, her dismissive attitude of the others, that made him want to properly _try._

He didn't think she would turn up on his doorstep.

It had been eight days since the market and he was working in the fields. He had left his shirt over the fence-post and was enjoying the sun on his skin. He wasn't a fool: Jane had been interested in him because of his body – working on the farm had given him a physique the football team had to work hard to obtain. He was deeply tanned and sun-kissed hair shone in the bright light.

Lost in thought, Jeff kept toiling on the same piece of land until he realised his mother was calling him back to the house. Judging by the exasperation in her tone, she had been calling for a while. Jeff dropped the fork and grabbed his shirt, slinging it over one shoulder as he sauntered back. There were voices coming from the lounge and he was hard-pressed not to groan at recognising one of his mother's friends.

Norma meant well, but if she told Jeff how much he had grown one more time, he wasn't sure he could be held responsible for his actions. Her daughter, Emily, was in his year, but was a studious and quiet girl and it took Jeff a few moments before he even remembered her name.

"Norma's come for a recipe," his mother told him. "I told her to bring Emily; you can study together."

"I'm on vacation," Jeff said. He had no intention of being holed up in his room with Emily when he could be out in the sunshine.

"It's never too early to work on those applications," his mother told him. He recognised that tone: he didn't have a choice. He glanced into the lounge. Emily was perched nervously on one of the couches, her hands twisting together. Jeff rolled his eyes. It wasn't as if any of the popular girls were looking twice at him at the moment.

He nodded and made to take a step forward.

"Put your shirt on," his mother scolded before entering the room herself. "Emily, dear, why don't you go with Jeff? He's got lots of books you might be interested in."

Jeff didn't bother entering the room. Emily came out to him. And, trailing behind her, was the girl.

Jeff stopped, almost stumbling as his feet caught on each other. He tried to pass it off with casual indifference even while staring at her over Emily's shoulder. He completely ignored Emily but smiled at the girl.

"Hi," Jeff said, trying to sound confident and at ease. His heart-rate had picked up at the sight of her again, though. Deep brown eyes sparkling with intelligence looked at him appraisingly. She looked at ease in a checked blouse and jeans, but Jeff could picture her dressed more formally in a busy, city environment. Her hair was once again pulled back but a stray lock touched her cheek.

"My cousin," Emily said, waving a hand in the girl's direction. The girl shuffled her feet.

"Do you want to come up then?" Jeff said, knowing what his mother expected of him. To his surprise, Emily laughed, shaking her head.

"Go up to Jeff Tracy's room? I'm not sure we'll be safe there."

Jeff gaped at her, flushing. Jane was the first girl he had contemplated taking things further with, but now he wondered what sort of stories she had been spreading about him. Emily pulled a book out of her bag and went out to the porch.

Jeff refused to follow or to demand an explanation or an apology. But her words had hurt and he had no idea what he was supposed to do next.

"Lucille," the girl suddenly said, "but my friends call me Lucy."

"What do I count as?" Jeff asked. His tongue felt thick and clumsy and he was hyper-aware of everything around him: the baby pictures on the wall; his mother's voice in the living room; the laundry basket at the top of the stairs. He wanted to be cool, casual, and felt like an awkward thirteen-year-old.

"I'll judge that on the book collection your mother says you have." She gestured for Jeff to lead on and he did so, suddenly wondering if his room was the mess that it normally was.

"Emily doesn't like anyone," Lucy said, following him up the stairs. "I've been here a week and I don't think we've had a proper conversation."

"About what she said, though," Jeff said. He glanced over his shoulder at her, suddenly anxious that she didn't have any false misconceptions of him.

"Your face told me enough. You looked mortified," Lucy said. She suddenly grinned at him, her face full of mischief. "The shirt probably isn't helping though."

Jeff realised his shirt was still over his shoulder. He quickly scrambled into it as he opened his bedroom door, kicking a pile of clothes under the bed as he invited her to step in.

She did so, going straight to his bookcase.

"You like the stars then?" she said, her fingers tracing the spines of his collection. Jeff nodded, leaning against the wall. He wasn't about to share his life's ambition with her. He wasn't sure he could handle her mocking him: a farm-boy wanting to go to the stars.

"That's cool," she said. They passed a few comments and before Jeff realised it, they were deep in conversation about their favourite books, artists and films. They had similar tastes and Jeff was lounging on his bed, completely at ease at discussing some of the finer points of a particular author. Lucy was sitting at his desk, her legs casually over the arm of the chair. She kept brushing the lock of hair back as she spoke.

But before long, Norma was calling up the stairs, telling her it was time to go. Lucy moved – Jeff was convinced it was reluctantly – but paused in his doorway again.

"Lucy," she said.

"Sorry?"

"Call me Lucy."

Leaving Jeff grinning like a fool, she disappeared. He scrambled off the bed and reached the top of the stairs as she reached the bottom. She looked back and flashed him a smile before leaving with her aunt and cousin.

He went downstairs and realised his mother was watching him with a knowing expression on her face.

"She's only staying until the end of the summer," she warned. Jeff shrugged: there was still time to get to know her. His mother sighed, reaching out and turning down his collar properly, smoothing out the fabric.

"Don't give away your heart too quickly, my boy," she said.

* * *

"Grandma loves Mom," John exclaimed. Jeff smiled at the present tense. "She warned you away?"

"She didn't want me to fall for someone I wouldn't see again," Jeff said. His son was sitting up, clutching the blanket to his chest and staring at his father with an indignant look.

"But you did see her?"

Jeff knew that John already knew the answer to that: the fact he was even sitting there was a clear indication. Jeff nodded, before a noise in the hallway caught his attention. He made to move, but John caught him by the wrist and shook his head.

Jeff stared at him, nonplussed. Then he realised it was Virgil lurking in the hallway, eavesdropping on their conversation. He understood John's reasoning. If Virgil knew that his father had once been young, once acted the way that he had, then maybe he would stop seeing his dad as the enemy.

"He's embarrassed that you caught him," John said quietly, "and embarrassed that, deep down, he knows you're right."

"I thought you said I shouldn't have called her that?"

John shrugged. "Maybe you're in a better position to judge whether someone really is interested than I thought."

Jeff tried not to roll his eyes, and failed. Telling John about Jane hadn't felt like a mistake. But he didn't want his son respecting his decision just because he knew his father had once been burnt in a similar way.

Staring at the almost-closed door, Jeff sighed.

"Would he really talk to Scott?" He kept his voice quiet, not wanting Virgil to know that he had been caught out. Jeff wanted his son to stay; now that he was talking about their mother, he wanted his children to know how they had got together. It felt important.

"He would," John admitted, "but he wouldn't necessarily believe him. Virg attempted to scare off Scott's girlfriends even more than Grandpa did to you. Part of him is still in denial that Scott might know what he was talking about."

Jeff didn't ask: he didn't want to know. But John leant back against the pillows, taking another sip of his drink.

"So go on," he prompted. There was a light flush to his skin but Jeff realised this was the most alert that he had seen John for a few days. It appeared that exploring the past wasn't doing only him good.

Clearing his throat, Jeff shifted until he was half-facing John and half-angled towards the door. If Virgil was going to listen in, then Jeff wanted to make sure that his son heard everything.

"When did you next see Mom?"

"It was three days later," Jeff said, thinking back to a starry night…

* * *

"You'll come to the dinner with me, won't you?"

Jeff stared at his mother. The church dinner was an annual thing at this time of year, just before everyone became too busy with the harvest to have time for it. Jeff hadn't been since he was at least knee-high to his father – a friend had always been found to look after him and save him from the boredom. His father's complaints after the last few years meant Jeff's opinion of the event hadn't changed.

"Dad's taking you, right?" Jeff said. His mother sighed. For a moment, she looked sad and Jeff's heart skipped a beat.

"What's going on?"

His father's trips into town and now this… Jeff should have realised sooner that something was going on.

"It's his back," his mother said. "It's been causing him a great deal of pain and the doctor said he shouldn't remain in one position for too long. An evening of standing around…"

She trailed off and Jeff sighed. An evening standing around wouldn't be possible for his dad right now. He glanced out of the window, just able to see his father weeding. He frowned as his dad straightened up, convinced he was wincing, his hand going to his lower back…He didn't like the idea that there was something the man couldn't do: Grant Tracy had always been a formidable figure in Jeff's eyes for as long as he could remember: an impossible inspiration that he would never be able to live up to.

"Of course," he said, forcing a smile, "I'll come with you."

"Find your suit," his mother instructed, already smiling. "I'll need to give it a press."

Jeff did as he was told. Then he went outside to speak with his father.

"Mom wants me to go to the dinner with her," he said as a conversation opener. His dad looked up. Jeff continued before the man could speak. "I said I would."

"Good. That's good. I wouldn't want her going alone."

"Why didn't you tell me about your back?"

"You're young, son," his father said. He straightened up, putting a hand on Jeff's shoulder. "And your mind has been filled with other things lately. I want you to help here because you choose to do so. Not because you feel like you have to just to help out your old man."

"Dad-," Jeff had no idea what to say. He had been frustrated and angry with his father for stopping things escalating with Jane. The man was right: if Jeff felt like his choice had been taken from him, he would have resented this summer.

As it was, he had enjoyed learning more about the business side of the farm even if the long hours had made him bored and lonely enough to contemplate moving on with Jane. His one conversation with Lucy had been far more engaging than anything else the summer had offered, though, and now he wasn't so sure. After all, if he hadn't been helping on the farm a few days ago, he wouldn't have been here to find out her name…

"It's alright, Jeff. Now, come and help me oil the tractor."

Jeff did as he was told. He didn't know what else there was to do or say. Besides, he wanted his father's advice on how he was supposed to survive this dinner without accidentally insulting everyone there.

The day came around far too quickly for Jeff's liking. His mother hadn't fussed over his appearance for years – living on a farm meant she had long ago given up on expecting him to be completely presentable at all times. But after she had inspected his nails for the third time, Jeff was grateful for his father's interference.

No amount of hiding could slow down time though and Jeff eventually sighed, staring at himself in the mirror. He wasn't used to wearing a suit and while it fitted him well, he felt uncomfortable with the tie snug around his neck. This was the sort of thing business officials wore, not a country-boy from the outskirts of Kansas.

His father dropped them off in the truck, claiming his son wouldn't find a parking spot. Jeff was convinced his father just thought he would make a run for it if he had an escape method open to him. He tried not to squirm as his mother adjusted his tie and grimaced at his father over her shoulder as he escorted the woman in.

It was as bad as he feared. His mother was immediately swept up by her friends, which allowed Jeff to snag a glass of wine from the roaming waiter without her seeing. But he hide behind the coat-rack, adamant that no one else was going to pinch his cheeks and tell him how grown up he was.

When the coats suddenly rustled, Jeff sucked in an audible breath. There was a slight pause.

"Damn," a familiar voice said. Jeff pulled the coats aside and blinked to find Lucy standing the other side. She looked as surprised as he was. She looked stunning in a red dress that brought out the natural highlights in her hair. It fitted her perfectly and Jeff couldn't help eyeing her appreciatively.

"What are you doing?" she asked. Jeff started, but then realised she meant in general rather than admiring the view in front of him.

"Hiding," Jeff said truthfully. "You?"

"Same," Lucy shrugged. "I've been compared to Emily all evening so far and if one more person mentions how out of place I am in the countryside-,"

Jeff saw Norma glancing their way. Without thinking, he grabbed Lucy by the wrist and pulled her behind the coat-rack as well, concealing them from view. She gave a startled gasp.

"Jeff Tracy! Are the rumours about you true?"

"They will be worse if Norma just saw us," Jeff muttered. To his delight, Lucy giggled. Then he shook his head. "No, they aren't true."

"So you didn't sleep with Hayley Simons and Jane Mitchell then?"

"_No!"_ Jeff vehemently denied. Then he realised that Lucy was laughing at him and he grinned ruefully.

"You don't believe them anyway, do you?"

"Your face was a picture when Emily implied as much," Lucy said. Jeff risked a peek between the coats.

"I think they are ready to sit down," he muttered. He knew his mother would have noted his absence by now. Lucy groaned.

"I better go first before Emily comes looking for me," she said.

Jeff held the coats out of the way and Lucy ducked away. He watched her until she joined her family. When she glanced back and winked at him, he knew they had remained undetected.

He joined his mother, ignoring her disapproving look when she saw the empty glass in his hand. Jeff shrugged and put it down before escorting her through to dinner. To his delight, Norma, her daughter and her niece were sitting opposite them. The smile on Lucy's face as they sat down meant that Jeff didn't care when he quickly swapped a couple of place-cards to ensure that he was directly opposite her.

He forgot that he was supposed to be looking out for his mother during that meal. Instead, he remained engaged in conversation with Lucy for the entire thing. Emily made several disapproving noises, but both Jeff and Lucy ignored her, continuing to debate and compare their tastes in everything and anything.

When an old lady stood up and called for silence, Jeff knew the speeches were about to begin. He reached across the table, touching the back of Lucy's hand. When she glanced at him, he jerked his head towards the door. She nodded.

Muttering an excuse to his mother about needing some air, Jeff slipped from the room. A couple of moments later, Lucy joined him.

"My aunt will kill me," she whispered, a flush of laughter rising in her expression. Jeff shrugged.

"She'll kill me first," he said, "so you'll have time to run."

"My gallant hero," Lucy said and Jeff offered her his arm in a fitting manner.

"Let's get out of here," he said before leading her out of the town hall and into the night.


	3. Chapter 3

_Thanks again! I hope you like this next._

* * *

The night air was cool and refreshing. Jeff breathed deeply as they walked away from the hall, releasing the tension with each exhale. He hated occasions like this: having to dress up and listen to people drone on about how important community and support was when he knew the butcher stole from the cash register and one of the farmers deliberately sold their produce elsewhere because they could get a higher price. It made him want to scream at the small-mindedness of it all.

"Stifling, isn't it?" Lucy said. Jeff glanced at her and saw his relief mirrored in her expression. He grinned.

He felt at ease around her. It was stupid - he had only met her three times and spoken to her twice - but he relaxed when in her company.

His dad was a good man – the best – and had done a lot for this town. Everyone expected Jeff to follow in his footsteps. But Lucy didn't compare him to his father and Jeff wondered if it made him a better man around her because of it.

"I thought you would be used to those sorts of things," he said, "coming from the city?"

"It is busier in the city," Lucy agreed, "but it's not as intense. Not everyone knows everyone, for one thing. If one person started a rumour, it would die out in a day because you wouldn't know who they were talking about."

Jeff knew she was using him as an example but he didn't react. He was secretly pleased she listened to the rumours and then asked him about them – it was better than her forming the wrong opinion of him based on the likes of Hayley and Jane. Why he cared about her opinion, he didn't know, but he did and he couldn't – wouldn't – change that.

"Isn't that lonely?" Jeff asked. Lucy shrugged.

"Different, maybe."

They walked around the back of the village hall and Jeff climbed over a gate leading into a field. Lucy followed him, struggling in her dress, and Jeff helped her over. Once she was back on the ground again, he didn't let go of her hand. She didn't pull away and Jeff couldn't hide his grin as they set off across the muddy ground.

"What about you, though?" Lucy asked after they had walked in silence for a few moments. "You don't strike me as the type to stay in Kansas forever."

"Am I that obvious?" Jeff asked. Lucy smiled, and something flipped in Jeff's stomach that he had never felt before.

He sighed though, running his free hand through his hair, not answering. He wasn't sure _how_ to answer. His father wanted him to live his own dreams rather than being tied to the farm. But the farm was all Jeff knew and he had no idea if he was deluding himself thinking he could break away.

"Kansas isn't big enough for a man with that many books about the stars," Lucy said quietly. They reached the far side of the field and Jeff finally let go of her hand, leaning his elbows on the fence and staring out into the darkness.

"Where would you want to go?" she continued. "New York?"

"The city isn't big enough either," Jeff mused. He looked up, his gaze seeking the constellations before finally settling on the moon. Lucy followed his gaze.

"Wow," she said softly. "The books aren't just a daydream, are they?"

Jeff shook his head.

"It's all I've ever wanted," he said earnestly. "I've applied for a few programmes that are planning expeditions. No one's done it yet but I will. One day, I'm going to stand on the moon and look down at the Earth, rather than always looking up."

He stopped, suddenly self-conscious, flushing in the darkness. His parents knew of his ambition but he had never spoken that openly about it. None of his friends knew what he wanted to do – they were all preparing to stay in the small town and follow their family traditions.

"Well, Mr Tracy," Lucy said, her tone light. She wasn't mocking him though, not with her hand resting on his forearm. "One day you're going to conquer the world."

"Not conquer," Jeff said, shaking his head. "Maybe save."

He turned to look at her and caught her eye. Neither of them looked away. Jeff reached out and gently brushed a lock of hair away from her cheek. His hand was trembling. He moved in closer… and light spilled across the field as the hall doors were flung open. Jeff took a guilty step back and looked back the way they had come.

"I guess the speeches are done," Lucy said with a small laugh.

"We should head back." Jeff said reluctantly. He wanted to spend every possible moment with her, discussing dreams and the future in a way that scared him. But there were enough stories spreading about him as it was and he had no intention of fuelling the rumours.

Getting back against the field, however, was more challenging. Lucy's shoes kept getting stuck in the mud. Eventually, she stopped. Using Jeff's shoulder for support, she pulled her shoes off completely.

Jeff stared at her, barefoot with the moon shining down. She took a step, pulling a face as her feet sank into the mud. But as she took a second step, then a third, she started laughing. Jeff couldn't help but join in.

"Come here," he said, lifting her into his arms. She was light and long days working on the farm had made him stronger than he realised. Her shoes dangled from one hand as her other arm wrapped around his neck.

"My hero," she murmured as he strode across the field. He put her down as they crossed the gate, but she didn't bother putting her shoes back on. Jeff glanced down at himself and grimaced. Most of his suit was also covered in mud and he knew that sneaking out was going to be the least of his worries when his mother saw him.

* * *

"Dad!" John's laugh was punctured with coughs. Jeff helped him sit up, holding his son until the spasm had passed and John was able to catch his breath again. Jeff knew this conversation couldn't continue much longer – John needed sleep, whether he wanted to admit it or not.

"How did Grandma react to you coming back in mud?"

"The same way she does when you and your brothers do the same thing," Jeff said with a fond smile. It brought back memories – not all pleasant - when he heard his mother scolding his own sons for the very things that she had once told him off for.

"That's because you boys have no idea how hard it is to get mud out of a suit. Or any clothes, for that matter."

Jeff looked around as his mother walked in, a laden tray in her arms. She put it on John's lap before fluffing up the pillows and ensuring her grandson was comfortable. Then she glanced back at the door.

"And stop loitering in the hallway, Virgil. It's rude to listen in on people."

Jeff winced, catching John's eye. They both waited with baited breath to see what the reaction would be. Jeff half-expected to hear running footsteps and a door slamming. But Virgil scuffed his way into the room, hands deep in his pockets and his head down. Jeff saw his son was flushing, clearly uncomfortable about being caught out but wanting to hear the rest of the story.

"You okay?" John asked his brother. Virgil shrugged in reply. Jeff opened his mouth, but his mother got there first.

"You have been talking since before you were two years old, Virgil. I suggest you use your words."

Virgil's head lifted but Jeff shook his head warningly. It was one thing if his son took out his anger on his father – in a way, Jeff _was_ responsible for his son's attitude. But he would not stand for the boys being rude to his mother, not after everything she did for them on a daily basis.

"I'm fine," Virgil muttered. Jeff heard the frustration in his boy's voice: Virgil was not fine. He was hurt and embarrassed and had no idea how to deal with those feelings. His father understood– it was the same way he had once felt when two girls tried to proposition him and then spread rumours when nothing happened.

This time, Jeff warned his mother without words not to push the matter. She might have been the one to comfort and discipline them when they had been younger, but Jeff had stepped back into the role he had neglected for so long. He would handle this, no matter what. He ultimately hoped Virgil would understand that his father wasn't trying to stop him from having fun, and that he did understand what this felt like.

"Mom walked barefoot through a muddy field after sneaking out with you?" John asked, trying to break the tension. Virgil moved to the far wall, the furthest he could get from his father. But he slid down the wall until he was sitting, his knees bent up to his chest and his arms folded over the top of them. He might not be happy, but he intended to stay.

Jeff nodded, warmth spreading through him as the memories of that night flooded his mind. There were certain things that always stayed with him: the birth of all five of his children, his wedding day, the first time he went into space…and that night. Looking at her with the moon shining down and her carefree laugh filling his ears: he only realised later that had been the moment he had fallen in love.

"Why do you think she was happy to move to Kansas when we got married?" Jeff said. "She might've lived in the city but she was a country girl at heart. More so than any of the girls who lived in Kansas their whole lives."

"Shallow, self-centred girls," his mother muttered vehemently. Jeff grinned, knowing she still hadn't forgiven Hayley for trying to lure her son to her infamous barn. John mirrored his expression.

"But not Mom," Virgil said softly. His voice was so quiet that Jeff barely heard him. His mother sighed, one hand resting on the top of Virgil's head for a split-second.

"I never thought for an instant," she said. Jeff knew that was true: she had never had a bad word to say about Lucy, even when she thought it couldn't be anything more than a summer fling.

"But you told Dad-,"

"Your father gives his all to everything he does," she said. "You may have noticed. I didn't want him to give his heart away so easily."

"I didn't give it away," Jeff protested. "It was stolen and never given back."

"Dad," John said, his eyes twinkling, "I never knew you were such a romantic."

Jeff flushed. He had spent the last few years trying to build walls around his heart so that he could conduct the business deals he needed to make his dreams come true. His sons had been the only ones to get through to him. But there was a time when Jeff hadn't shied away from expressing how he was feeling.

"How did you know?" Virgil whispered. For the first time in days, he lifted his head and looked his father in the eye. "How did you know she was the one?"

Jeff smiled gently. He had lectured his sons, warning them about certain behaviours, but now realised he hadn't actually discussed what it was like falling in love. He wasn't the type of man to speak so openly about matters of the heart. But the expression on Virgil's face meant Jeff brushed away any discomfort.

"It was towards the end of the summer," he said. "We had been spending most of our free time together. She used to come by the farm and just sit on the fence watching me work when I had chores I couldn't escape. She used to help with the horses. Even Dad couldn't fault her that, despite demanding if she knew how to drive a tractor."

Jeff made himself more comfortable and picked up the coffee that his mother had brought for him. She touched him gently on the shoulder – also aware that Jeff hadn't spoken about this with his sons – and left the room, leaving her son and grandsons to the past.

* * *

It was a warm afternoon and Jeff – much to Lucy's amusement – had taken off his shirt again as he moved hay bales into the loft of the barn. She was perched on the edge of an empty stall, balanced precariously but watching him work. They were both aware of how little time they had left until she returned to the city. Neither of them mentioned it though, not wanting it to cloud an otherwise bright day.

Jeff wasn't certain when he stopped listening to her and started to focus on the noises of the farmyard. His dog – Timmy – was barking incessantly from outside the barn. He was usually a quiet dog and Jeff felt uneasy. He put his pitchfork down and Lucy stopped talking, picking up on the atmosphere.

"What is it?" she asked, jumping down from the stall. Jeff shook his head, frowning, and stepped out into the sunshine. Timmy bounded over, jumping up and continuing to bark. He raced away, then ran back at Jeff, barking at him before repeating the action.

"I think he wants you to follow," Lucy said.

"Go on, boy," Jeff said, starting to move, heart pounding fast, "show me."

Timmy raced away and Jeff ran after him. They charged across the fields and Jeff was vaguely aware of Lucy following. They didn't stop until they reached the far side of the field. From here, the house was nearly a mile away.

He looked around, then gasped.

"Dad!"

His father's tractor was partly blocking the man from view, but Jeff ran to the other side and found his father prone on the floor.

"Dad?" Dropping to his knees, Jeff reached for the man. He was conscious, but his body was tense. Panic shot through Jeff and he swallowed hard. "What is it?"

"My back," the man said through gritted teeth. "I can't move."

"Easy, Dad." Jeff put a hand on his father's shoulder, taking a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down. He had never seen his dad look helpless before and it rocked everything Jeff had ever been certain about.

"Take the tractor," Jeff said over his shoulder, "get help."

"I can't," Lucy said, her voice full of regret. "I can't drive it."

"You said you could!"

"I wanted your dad to approve of me."

Jeff looked at her. Her worry over his reaction was clear on her face. Unable to stop himself, he grinned. Most girls quaked when Grant Tracy demanded to know their knowledge of farming. He had been there when his dad had asked – Lucy had been perfectly calm when stating that '_yes, she could drive a tractor, thank you very much_'.

No one had been anxious to meet his dad's approval before.

Her concern disappeared at the look on his face. Lucy crouched down.

"You go. I'll stay with him."

"But-,"

"Jeff." His dad's voice was as firm as ever. "This ground isn't getting more comfortable, you know. We'll be fine, won't we, gal?"

"Definitely, Mr Tracy." Lucy nudged Jeff away, putting her own hand on his father's shoulder. "Go."

"I'll be right back," Jeff said, reluctantly climbing to his feet. He took a long look at the pair of them –the image burning into his mind's eye - before leaping into the tractor. He had been driving the farm vehicles since he was thirteen – much to his mother's horror – and knew how to get the best speed out of the tractor.

He tore through the fields, rushed past the barn and got as close to the house as possible. His mother came out of the door as he approached, not pleased at having a tractor in her back yard.

"It's Dad," Jeff said before she had the chance to ask. "His back's gone. He can't get up."

His mother didn't blink. "Run down the lane. Grab Mark and Carlos, they are over on the Simons' farm. Tell them what happened, they'll help."

Jeff did as he was told, his body reacting even as his mind struggled to process what was happening. He found the farmhands and they instantly dropped their tools and came back with him. His mother had gathered up some blankets and the two men fashioned a stretcher.

His mother explained to a dumbfounded Jeff that this wasn't the first time. The paramedics had previously explained it would be safe to move him – the muscles had spasmed and needed to relax again – but that his father should consult a specialist if it happened again.

Jeff didn't wait to hear anymore. He jumped back into the tractor and raced back to his dad. Cutting the engine and jumping down, he finally relaxed at the sight in front of him. His father's head was cushioned on Lucy's lap and she was holding his hand. They were talking softly together and even as Jeff watched, his father laughed at something she said.

He dropped to his knees besides them and took his father's other hand. His dad looked up at him, his expression more relaxed than previously.

"Got a good head on her shoulders, this gal of yours," he said quietly. "She's a keeper."

Jeff looked up. Lucy's cheeks tinged pink and he knew she had heard. He didn't say anything, only smiled softly at her.

It felt too early to admit he had been thinking the same thing.


	4. Chapter 4

"So that's why Grandpa never picked us up," John mused. Virgil's head lifted as he looked at his brother. Jeff nodded.

"He tried once when Scott was two. He never tried again."

He knew his sons had fond memories of their grandfather. The man had been a climbing frame, a superhero, a blanket monster… There'd never been the worry they hadn't interacted with him enough. But John was right: he'd never picked them up. He couldn't - although Jeff knew it had pained him not to be able to sweep them into the air like they had wanted.

Virgil shifted into a more comfortable position and Jeff hid his grin. The surly look had vanished from his teenager's face; he clearly intended to hear this out until the end.

The door burst open before anything else was said, though.

"Jo-_ohn_," Gordon whined, "I can't do it."

He was clutching a book and Jeff realised - for once - his son was attempting his homework. Gordon saw him and stopped.

"Um-," he said sheepishly.

"I thought I told you that your brother needed rest?" Jeff said mildly. He wondered if Gordon had indeed been working or whether he was using it as an excuse to come and see John. Multiple expressions flickered across Gordon's face as he tried to come up with an excuse.

"He can stay," John said fondly. "I'm already resting."

Jeff couldn't argue – not when he was the main reason John refused to go to sleep. He should leave his son to rest, take the younger ones with him….

But now he had started, now he was _finally_ letting himself speak of Lucy without the pain crippling him, he couldn't stop. He needed this. If their relaxed postures were anything to go by, so did his sons.

Gordon grinned and hurried across the room, climbing on the bed. John shifted to make room but Gordon curled up at the foot of his brother's bed. He avoided Virgil's eye and Jeff figured he was not the only one on the receiving end of Virgil's temper. Gordon often didn't see or simply ignored the warning signs when his brothers weren't in the mood.

"Who's in trouble?" Gordon asked, eyes wide.

Jeff shook his head. "No one."

"So why-?" He trailed off, confused.

"We're talking about Mom," Virgil said. The playfulness disappeared from Gordon's face and he sat up a little.

"Oh."

Jeff had never seen Gordon lost for words before. But his son looked utterly bewildered and - not for the first time - Jeff kicked himself. It shouldn't be a _shock_ that they were talking about Lucy but part of their everyday life.

Things had to change.

"How she met Dad." John picked up from Virgil. "She walked barefoot through a muddy field after sneaking out with Dad."

Gordon looked impressed. "Dad snuck out?"

Jeff rolled his eyes. He wasn't surprised that was the part his son focused on. "It's not what it sounds like."

"It's _exactly_ what it sounds like," Virgil said. For the first time in days, he didn't sound annoyed. His tone was playful and there was a spark in his eye as he grinned at his brothers. Jeff smiled softly. He'd hoped the story might help get through to Virgil. But if it made his son forgive him as well, then even better.

Gordon's eyes glinted.

"No," Jeff said firmly. As much as he was enjoying indulging in the past, he wouldn't let the memories of his youth make him forget that he was a father, first and foremost. He would not encourage them. "Don't get any ideas."

"C'mon, Dad," Gordon began, but John kicked him lightly.

"Shut up and listen or get out." His voice was mild but Gordon didn't press the matter.

"We're really talking about Mom?" he said, suddenly sounding young. Jeff knew Gordon – and Alan – only had limited memories of their mother and he wasn't sure if that was easier or harder on them.

"Yep," John said. "Get up here."

Gordon didn't need telling twice, scooting up the bed until he was sitting next to John properly. John looped an arm around his little brother and nodded at his father.

"You obviously took Grandpa's words to heart," John said. "What happened next?"

"Next…" Jeff sighed, glancing out of the window. It was late afternoon and the evenings were starting to draw in. The sun had bled a red blur across the horizon.

"Next, I went to the moon."

* * *

Jeff was numb.

Everything he had ever wanted, everything he had ever dreamt of, had just been offered to him. The piece of paper sitting next to him confirmed it: he had a place on one of the programmes. Training, tests, more training, more tests… It was a tough training programme with no guarantee of making it through to the next stage, but it was a start. NASA hadn't rejected his application out of hand.

"That's wonderful," Lucy said. She was sitting opposite him at the dining room table, having just read the letter for herself. Jeff could see she was struggling to hold herself together though. He understood. He should have been ecstatic. He thought it was everything he wanted…then he looked across the table and realised that was no longer true.

"Luce-,"

"No," she said, forcing a smile. "It's wonderful, Jeff. I'm so happy for you." She took his hand across the table.

"We had plans though," Jeff said stupidly. They had been talking over the last few days, before he knew he had been accepted. He was going to spend a weekend in New York, or she was going to come back to Kansas when she could. He might have only known her a few weeks, but he had no intention of letting her go.

"Jeff, this is your plan. Your life's ambition."

Jeff looked down at the letter. Then his lips twitched into a grin. This was it!

_He was going to the moon!_

Well, one day… But it was closer than it had been a few hours ago.

"That's more like it," Lucy said. She squeezed his hand. "Tell me more."

Once Jeff started speaking, he couldn't stop. He had followed every expedition, every attempt, for as long as he could remember. All of his fears about whether or not he wanted to leave the farm faded away and Jeff realised he had clung to them because it offered him a safety net: a way of telling himself his destiny was here if the acceptance letter hadn't arrived.

Lucy stayed for dinner that evening. His father no longer shot accusing questions at her about farming knowledge but instead welcomed her into the house. His mother was also enjoying having Lucy around – another woman, but one she could actually talk to. Jeff had found them discussing recipes when he got back from his errands in town the previous day.

After they had cleared the table, his mother shooed them out of the door. They strolled across the moonlit fields hand in hand and Jeff couldn't resist looking up every few steps. The moon seemed closer this evening; calling to him, telling him his dream was in reach. When they reached the far side of the field, Lucy sat on the fence with Jeff in front of her, his hands resting lightly on her legs.

"This summer," she began, her voice cracking as she spoke, "has not turned out the way I imagined."

Jeff didn't say anything, knowing she needed to speak.

"I asked Aunt Norma if I could go home, the day before I met you. She told me Emily managed just fine here in Kansas, so I could let go of my airs and graces and do the same."

Jeff bit back a retort. Lucy was the last person who thought herself above the country folk. Emily, however, liked to think she was better than the rest of them just because she scored good grades.

"Then I met you. I had heard about you, of course. Emily was delighted to share the rumours going around about you and that Hayley girl. And that you had got caught with Jane after only being together for three weeks. Emily thinks you're a golden boy who deserved to be taken down a peg."

Jeff laughed. He couldn't help it. He had good grades himself – NASA wouldn't touch him if he didn't. He didn't consider himself to be popular, but never had a problem getting a girlfriend. He dedicated most of his spare time to the farm, even if he grumbled about it. He was hardly one of the "_in-crowd_", despite what Emily thought.

"There you were, trying not to glare at Emily, with your shirt tossed over your shoulder as if daring her to say something," Lucy said, finally laughing. "I knew it would wind her up if I went upstairs with you. But you had all these books about the stars and these ambitions and weren't at all what I expected."

"I saw you before you came to my house," Jeff admitted, telling her about the market and how he hadn't been able to get her out of his head. "Imagine how I felt coming in and seeing you sitting on my couch!"

Lucy laughed. But it was a sad sound and there were tears in her eyes. Jeff moved closer.

"What is it?"

"This is stupid," Lucy said, wiping her eyes. "We've only known each other a few weeks. But…"

She trailed off, ducking her head. Jeff put a finger under her chin and lifted it again.

"But what?"

"I don't want to be your next three-week girl."

"You're not," Jeff said. "You're more of my forever girl."

He didn't mean to say it. He hadn't even been aware that he was thinking it. The words slipped out before his brain processed what his mouth was doing. Lucy stared at him, not blinking even as a tear ran down her cheek.

"Jeff-,"

"I mean, it's just, that is…" Jeff had no idea what he was trying to say. But now he had said the words, he knew they were true. But she lived in the city and he was about to leave the Earth. He had never done a long-distance relationship, let alone one spanning across space.

"That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me," Lucy said. She dried her eyes and took a deep breath, rescuing him from his own thoughts. But although they hadn't known each other for long, Jeff was getting good at reading her expression. His words had comforted her, given her hope that he wasn't about to forget her as soon as he left the atmosphere.

Neither of them knew what to say after that. They eventually walked back to the house. His mother was in the kitchen as Jeff pushed open the door. She took one look at their faces and tutted.

"Honestly," she said. "Haven't you heard of letters?"

"I don't think they have post on the moon, Mom," Jeff muttered, ducking away from his mother's playful swat.

"You're the one constantly telling me about all of these amazing technological updates," she chided. "You mean to tell me they haven't discovered a way to communicate yet?"

Jeff flushed. He wasn't even leaving the planet for six months, minimum. He would get leave and be allowed visitors. His mother was also right: they may not be able to see each other face to face, but he would still be able to speak to her even when he was on the moon.

He looked at Lucy and she smiled shyly back at him, clearly realising the same thing. Jeff grinned. He could live his dream and keep his girl, if she was prepared to wait for him.

But her words gave him hope. They could at least try.

"Come on," he said, grabbing her hand and pulling her back out of the door. "I'm going to teach you to drive a tractor."

"It's dark!"

"So?"

Lucy laughed but didn't offer any further protests. In a few weeks, they would have limited time together, their communication restricted to whatever devices Jeff was allowed in the NASA base. There were some things that emails and calls couldn't do, however. Memories only they could create. Jeff intended to make as many of them as he could while they still had time left.

How to drive a tractor in the dark was one thing.

Finally kissing her away from his mother's prying eyes was another…

* * *

Jeff stopped there, acutely aware all three of his sons were staring at him. He enjoyed sharing the past with them, but there were some memories he was keeping to himself. The feeling of her hair running through his hands, her own hands tracing his arms…

He would share memories of their mother. But memories of his girlfriend, his _wife_, were for him only.

"Did you-?" Virgil was blushing furiously and Jeff knew this was not something his son was comfortable asking. John put his hands over Gordon's ears, only half playing.

"No," Jeff said, holding his son's gaze. "Not until we knew we could make it work. Not until we knew for sure that there wouldn't ever be anyone else."

Virgil chewed on his lip, glancing at the floor and nodding. Jeff wasn't a fool: his son was young and there would be plenty of temptation. He was also aware he couldn't say they waited until they were married, not with a clear conscience.

But Carla Mason didn't care for Virgil and Jeff wasn't about to let his son do something he regretted.

"Get _off_," Gordon whined, pushing John's hands away. It was enough though – he had missed most of the conversation. John laughed, ruffling his hair as Gordon glared at him. But Gordon was never one to hold a grudge and he grinned, ducking away.

"Grandma said you were all in here without me," Alan announced, stomping into the room with a disgruntled expression on his face.

"Dad snuck out," Gordon said. Alan's face lit up.

"No _way_."

"Boys," Jeff sighed. Telling them the story was supposed to be about Virgil realising that his father wasn't the enemy. He hoped it didn't fuel his younger sons with ideas about what was acceptable.

"But Dad-,"

"Do as I say-," Virgil said.

"-not what I do," John finished. The pair of them shared a look and grinned.

"Should I be worried?" Jeff asked.

John shrugged. "Scott's favourite line," he said.

Jeff groaned, then decided he didn't want to know. Scott and John had made it this far without him catching them. Virgil was learning his lesson. The best thing he could do right now was not ask.

"So what are you doing?" Alan asked, climbing over Virgil's now-outstretched legs and sitting next to his brother.

"Talking about Mom," Virgil said, again.

"Dad taught her to drive a tractor in the dark," Gordon said, a grin on his face.

"Cool!" Alan's face lit up. "I want to do that."

"No," Jeff said firmly. He was secretly glad neither Gordon or Alan had been in the room when he had begun. They never would have made it this far in the story with the constant comments. Then again, considering how he had started, he wouldn't have shared it with anyone other than John or Scott anyway.

"Yeah, Alan," Virgil said. "You have to be at least thirteen, right, Dad?"

Jeff felt completely outnumbered. He did the only thing he could think of: he deflected. "You'll have to ask your grandmother."

She had been horrified when her young teenager had come bounding in with a grin on his face, his father following behind. That had been in open fields, as well. There was no way his mother was about to let Alan behind the wheel of anything, not down a street full of family houses.

"I'm going to ask her right now," Alan declared. He made to rise but Virgil put a hand on his arm and shook his head. To Jeff's surprise, it was Gordon who spoke, sounding serious for once.

"You'll want to hear the end of this first, Al," he said. "Dad's about to go to the moon. He left Mom behind."

"I wouldn't say that," Jeff said. "We might not have physically been in the same place, but that doesn't mean I left her behind."

"You stayed in contact?" John asked, smiling. Jeff lifted an eyebrow at his son.

"What do you think? I'd found the girl of my dreams. I wasn't about to let her go just because I was leaving Earth."

Alan settled down and Gordon leant against John. All four of his sons were watching him expectantly. Jeff took a sip of his cold coffee and thought back. The years he spent with NASA were some of the best of his life. But coming back to Earth had its benefits as well.


	5. Chapter 5

_Final chapter! Thank you so much to those of you who have followed this. It was fun doing something different - and there was lots of squealing involved. _

* * *

"Steady…easy now…let up on the throttle and… Touch down!"

Cheers erupted both in and out of the shuttle as it touched down on Earth. Jeff sat back, a wide grin on his face, and glanced at his co-pilot. Lee Taylor grinned back, taking off his helmet and running a hand through his hair.

"Welcome home, boys," Lee announced to the crew in his Southern drawl.

Jeff stayed where he was as a flurry of activity broke out onboard. They had been lucky: the entire crew had become firm friends and Jeff knew they would be part of each other's lives from now on. But they were all anxious to get off the ship; to feel the ground beneath their feet and breathe fresh air again.

But, for a moment, he couldn't move. Elation and relief swept through him.

_He had done it!_

It had been the hardest five years of his life, full of intense training and calculations, strict diets and health checks. There had been times when - his body trembling from the exertion and his mind weary from exhaustion - Jeff had wondered whether he was doing the right thing.

The instant they had left Earth's atmosphere, he'd had his answer: this was what he was destined for. Once they reached the moon, it had, in comparison, been straightforward. They'd had a lot of systems to get into place to begin the colonisation process and each day had been run to a tight schedule.

It was early afternoon – and the debriefing wasn't scheduled until the morning. All astronauts were expected to report in first thing. But there was nothing on the agenda for _now_ – no one had been able to predict exactly when they would touch-down. He knew he'd feel weird being back in a gravity environment, but the idea of free time – the first since this mission had been announced – made him grin.

"Tracy! You coming or what?"

Jeff finally unbuckled his safety harness, tossed his helmet on his seat and stood up. He stretched, readjusting to normal gravity, before hurrying across the cockpit and joining Lee. Together, they exited the shuttle and stood blinking in the sunlight. People were still cheering as they emerged and Jeff suddenly realised that they were cheering for _them_. It hadn't just been his own dreams he had achieved out there.

Stepping off the metal steps and onto the ground caused a lump in his throat. Despite the uncertainty and the danger they had faced on the mission, he had made it. He was home again.

Glancing at Lee, Jeff saw his friend was feeling the same. Lee turned, pulling him into a hug and Jeff returned it. Words weren't needed.

But when the two men pulled apart, both were grinning. Everyone on the expedition had been counting down to the return. They had spent eight months on the moon: eight months with limited contact with their loved ones.

The crew all looked at one another. Jeff nodded.

Without another word, they scattered.

Jeff pushed through the crowd, searching. He ignored the hands clapping him on the back and the voices shouting their approval. But finally, he heard one voice over the rest. His father's deep, reassuring tone, calling his name.

Brushing past another family, Jeff stopped. His mother was crying but both his parents had beaming smiles on their faces. Jeff reached them but before he could say anything, his mother's arms were around him, his father's hand on his shoulder as they welcomed him back to Earth.

Finally, his mother drew back - although Jeff thought his dad might have had a hand in it. But the man squeezed his shoulder and when Jeff glanced at him, his father tilted his head to a spot just behind them. His mother stepped to one side and Jeff stumbled forward.

He had dreamt of this moment ever since the team had made it to the moon and not been killed in the process. She was wearing a summer dress, her hair in a ponytail but curling over her shoulder. She twisted her hands nervously as Jeff looked at her.

"Lucy," he breathed and she gave a shaky laugh before rushing into his arms. He held her, breathing in deeply and relishing the feeling of holding her close again. Not caring that his parents were watching, Jeff drew back and kissed her. Her arms wound around his neck and she lent into him happily.

They had spoken frequently and sent messages on the days when a conversation wasn't possible. But nothing compared to being able to hold her again and Jeff traced her cheek, brushing away a tear.

"You came back to me," she whispered. Jeff smiled.

"I promised I would," he said. "I'm a man of my word."

"I'll hold you to that."

Jeff reluctantly pulled away, although he kept her hand clasped in his as he turned back to his parents. Lee came over to join him, his young daughter on his shoulders and a petite woman that could only be the girl's mother next to him.

"So this is the famous Lucy," he said with a teasing glance at Jeff. He held out his hand. "Lee Taylor. I've been hearing all about you for the last eight months. Screw that, the last five years!"

Lucy laughed even as Jeff blushed. She shook Lee's hand and the introductions to parents and family were made. They all went for lunch somewhere, Jeff and Lee sharing stories about their adventures. The danger was played down and the tension made humorous: an unspoken pact between them meant loved ones didn't need to hear about the bad parts.

They parted ways after lunch with a firm handshake and a promise that they would see each other in the debriefing. Jeff felt strange watching Lee walk away: he had been with the man every day for the last few years. He was more than a best friend, more like a brother.

"You'll see him tomorrow," Lucy said, correctly interpreting his silence and linking her fingers through his. His parents made an excuse and disappeared down the street, leaving the two of them alone for the first time in years. Jeff stopped walking and brushed her cheek lightly with the backs of his fingers, taking the chance to simply look at her.

Lucy blushed, ducking her head. But Jeff didn't miss the smile playing across her lips. She was enjoying him back being on Earth as much as he was.

"If the final ceremony is in two days," she eventually said, her tone cautious, "what happens after that?"

"What do you mean?" Jeff finally allowed her to look away and they strolled casually down the street. Just two young lovers enjoying the summer afternoon.

"They'll be organising the next expedition, won't they?" Lucy sounded hesitant, as if she was leading up to something that she was prepared not to like. "Do you have to sign up there and then?"

Jeff suddenly understood. They had spent five years putting their relationship on hold because this was his dream, everything that he had ever wanted. But he had achieved that now. She wanted to know if she would have to carry on waiting for him, waiting to see if their love was a greater pull than gravity and would keep him on the planet and by her side.

"Actually," Jeff said, "I've already signed up."

"Oh."

"To the US Air Force."

"What?" Lucy stopped walking and stared at him. Jeff shrugged. She wasn't the only one who had had enough of not being able to move forward. The expedition had been a dream come true, but it had also shown him what he was missing.

"I can already pass the physical," he said. The training with NASA had been intense and they had followed a strict programme while on the moon to keep their fitness up. "I sent off the application last week. They've accepted me."

There had been just enough of a signal on the moon for him to make his wishes known to a superior, who had agreed to fill out the necessary paperwork and send it off, given his situation.

"But-," Lucy stared at him, lost for words. Jeff smiled, tucking a stray curl behind her ear.

"I'm staying here," he said. "I'm staying with you."

It still wouldn't be ideal – the Air Force was hardly a day job. But he _would_ be on the planet and the training centre wasn't far from where Lucy lived. Jeff needed to figure out what he wanted to do and right now, he was so used to discipline and structure, he wasn't certain he could return to the farm. The Air Force would integrate him back to life on Earth. It also gave him a chance to move things forward with Lucy.

"But the moon-,"

"I love you," Jeff said. It was the first time he had said the words out loud. They felt right, like a key turning in his chest. "I'm staying here. I'll make it work. I've lived my dream. Maybe it's time that I find a new one."

"One with me?"

"One with you."

* * *

"You gave up the moon…for Mom?" John's voice was quiet and Jeff blinked. It took a moment to remember that he was sitting in a room with four of his sons, not standing on a sunny street making a decision to change his entire life.

"I love her," Jeff said simply. "It was an easy decision: I wasn't giving up anything. I had done that. It was time to move on."

If Jeff wasn't mistaken, there were tears in John's eyes. He – and Scott – were the only ones who had reached the point in their lives where they could start pursuing their own dreams. John understood what it meant to give one up.

He had a sudden flicker of doubt as he thought about the papers locked in his study. Could he ask his sons to give up their own dreams because he had a new one?

He stopped there: it would be _years_ before the plans were anything more than scraps of paper. His boys had a chance to grow up and live their own lives first.

Giving John a moment to pull himself together, Jeff looked at Virgil. His son was chewing his lip, lost in thought.

"Virgil?" Jeff prompted gently, wanting to know what his son was thinking.

"I wouldn't have done that," Virgil said quietly. "Not for her."

Jeff knew that Virgil wasn't talking about his mother.

"You're young. You're not expected to make these sorts of decisions at sixteen with the first girl who catches your eye."

"I thought I loved her," Virgil said. "But if it was Carla or my artwork, I know which I would choose."

"If she loved you," Jeff said carefully, knowing the answer, "then she would never ask you to choose."

Virgil nodded, still frowning. But he hadn't argued back and Jeff knew the story had done what it was supposed to. Virgil knew he wasn't in love, regardless of what he had screamed at his father previously.

Before anyone had the chance to say anything, Virgil's cell rang. He shut his eyes with a wince before looking at his father. Jeff merely raised an eyebrow: he had already figured out that Virgil had got his phone back.

"We'll talk about that later," he said, gesturing his son should answer it. Virgil pulled it out and glanced at the caller ID. Different emotions shot across his face – delight followed by worry. With another concerned look at his dad, he pressed a button.

"Scott, don't say-,"

"_Virg, you idiot, I told you not to stay in the house."_

Jeff stared at the phone in disbelief. John sucked in an audible breath. There was a moment of silence.

"_I'm on speaker, aren't I?"_ Scott said.

"Mm hmm."

"_And Dad's in the room?"_

"I am," Jeff said. Gordon looked like he was trying not to laugh. He might not understand what had landed Virgil in trouble, but it was clear he was enjoying Scott's discomfort.

Jeff was surprised. He had always trusted Scott to give his brothers good advice. `Don't stay in the house` translated to `don't stay where Dad can catch you` and Jeff suddenly wondered what else Scott had been telling Virgil. Scott might have been grieving at sixteen, but he had been living under Jeff's roof until he was eighteen. Just because his father had never caught him didn't mean that Scott hadn't gone through the same thing as Virgil.

"_I'm going to hang up now,"_ Scott said.

"Don't," John said, his voice cracking as he tried not to cough – and laugh. "We've been talking about Mom."

This time, it was Scott's intake of breath that was audible and Jeff could only imagine what was going through his son's head. After Lucy had died, Jeff knew he had distanced himself – and Scott, more than the others, had taken the brunt of that. He knew his father didn't speak of her, not because he wanted to forget, but because it was too painful.

"_Are you guys okay?"_

Jeff smiled. That was the Scott he knew – the one who instantly made sure his brothers were alright, even if he was miles away on a restricted base right now.

"Mom walked through the mud with bare feet," Gordon said.

"And drove a tractor in the dark!" Alan exclaimed.

"_I know,"_ Scott said softly. Jeff could hear that his son was smiling.

"How?" John asked. This was the first time that Jeff had spoken of it – this story had been new to all four sons in the room.

"_Mom told me," _Scott said. _"I think I was Gordon's age. I had…stuff going on and Mom told me about how they met. You realise Dad snuck out, right?"_

Jeff laughed softly. He remembered what Scott had going on – his first proper crush. The girl had been older and Scott had been devastated when she had started dating a boy from her own year. Jeff had been more than happy to let Lucy handle that one: he hardly had the best track record when it came to dealing with girls. He had never known what his wife had said to get their son to cheer up again though.

He was glad. John might have been the only one to hear the story from beginning to end – Jeff had no idea when Virgil had started listening in – but now all of his sons had an idea of how their parents had got together. He didn't want four of them to know and Scott to be left out. He couldn't believe he never realised that Scott knew the whole story though.

He also wasn't surprised which detail had stayed in Scott's mind – just the way his younger brothers had picked up on it as well.

"I was young once," Jeff said. "Where do you think you boys got some of your habits from?"

"How did Grandpa react when he found out that you left Grandma and slipped out with another girl?" John asked, his eyes alight with curiosity. Jeff winced.

"As far as I know, he never found out," he admitted, his tone sheepish.

"Nonsense," a voice said from behind him. "I told him as soon as we got back."

Jeff turned as his mother once again entered the room. She perched on the edge of John's bed and immediately felt his temperature. Jeff saw her wince, but she didn't say anything.

"He didn't say anything," Jeff said.

"Not to you, maybe. Why do you think he kept on at poor Lucy about driving tractors? He was trying to stop a repeat of Jane."

"He tried to scare her off?" Jeff said in disbelief. His father was hard on every girl that Jeff had ever spoken to, but he never realised his dad was deliberately attempting to scare them away. His mother shrugged.

"As soon as he realised it wasn't working, he knew he didn't have to try. She was here to stay, and your father could see how happy she made you."

Jeff smiled gently, looking at the floor rather than making eye contact with any of his sons.

"How did you and Grandpa meet?" Gordon asked, crawling down John's bed until he was sitting next to the old lady. She draped an arm around him but shook her head.

"That's a story for another day," she said. "Your brother needs sleep."

"But Grandma-," John protested, but she was already shooing the younger ones out. Virgil stood and sighed before offering his father his phone.

Jeff folded his son's fingers back over the cell. "I think we'll let that one pass," he said. The fact that Virgil had offered meant his son knew he had done wrong and was trying to make amends. Jeff could ask for nothing more.

"Carla might call," John said even as he let his grandmother fuss around and pull up the covers. Jeff saw how exhausted he looked. Virgil shook his head.

"She won't," he said in a quiet voice. "She doesn't care."

Jeff gripped his son's shoulder for a moment.

"It won't always be like that," he promised. "You're only young."

He stood up, intended to leave himself. "Oh, and Scott? Call me when you've stopped talking with Virgil."

"_Yes, Dad._" The reluctance in Scott's voice was clear and Jeff grinned as he left the room, intending to find a coffee.

He might not be framed in a barn doorway with the sun setting behind him. But he knew how to make his own sons squirm, just the way his father had done for him.


End file.
